When I first announced that I had turned over my life to Christ I received some interesting comments and sideways stares. I could almost feel the questions behind the reactions… ‘What does that mean?’. For some this announcement came with the usual reaction of, ‘we’ll see how long this adventure lasts’.
It is true that I have never been good at sticking with something. When I started working at age 16 my jobs would last anywhere from 2 months to 6 months. I would leave at the first sign of indignation to what I thought the job should be about, or towards my character. I think I have held over 30 job positions in my short lifetime.
This same ‘jump around till you find a good one’ attitude was also placed on my search for the right place to live, and the right man. I’ve always been a ‘here today, gone tomorrow’ type of person. So, it was no shock to anyone that knew me well when I ‘found’ Christianity and openly accepted it…. and even went to the extremes of attending multiple church services. I’m known for my ability to dive in head first before I know what’s actually going on, and to live for those ‘high’ moments.. then plummet face first to the ‘low’ ones.
Well, I’m here to tell you that this is not another passing fad. This is exactly why I was jumping around from empty fulfillment to empty promises all those years. I was searching for something that I could never find. I had a God sized hole in my heart that needed to be filled.. and the best part is.. He found me. The more I searched, the farther away I got; until one day I gave up searching and heard a still small voice tell me this was the way, the truth, and the life that I had been missing.
It is amazing how an ordinary day can turn into an extraordinary one when it is filled with the knowledge of what Christ has done. I have been blessed as of late to have an open schedule. I choose to fill my time giving glory to God: writing this blog, writing my online bible study blog, and doing my BSF homework. I’ve also found immense satisfaction in going on long walks, enjoying His creation, and listening to sermons or worshiping Him through praise music in my headphones.
This is a far cry from the girl who used to get antsy at the first thought of having nothing to do. If you had told me 5 years ago that this is what I would be doing right this moment I would have banished you to the ‘weirdo department’. Life is supposed to be set in stone.. you grow up, you get a job, you settle down, have kids, retire… right? That’s the mentality I had…worry, worry, worry. Now I am positive that what this life is really about is following Christ’s leading. You don’t have to have gobs of money in the bank, or a retirement fund. All you need is a solid foundation in our Lord, and a willingness to give yourself and your life over to Him.
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6
I am so thankful for the love given to me. I am thankful for my husband, a man after God’s own heart. I am thankful for my son who is so very interested in learning about our Savior. I am thankful for this time to be alone at the feet of my King, and my Redeemer. I am thankful that the girl who was running around trying to fill up her life has now been released of those desires, and is now walking by faith in a God who is bigger than anything she could have imagined.
Thank you Lord for your patience and pursuit of this life. I am looking forward to many, many, many more years of satisfaction, peace, and comfort in your hands.