Well, it’s been 4 months since I wrote about what was going on personally in my life. I just can’t seem to find the time to blah about myself amidst the desire to study God’s word, and do my regular wifely duties. I’ve been so in awe lately of how close God is. It seems like each time I pray my prayer is answered.. and sometimes (like today) it’s immediate.
“When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” – Matthew 6:6-8
Check this out… God’s sovereignty in action.. and when I say sovereignty I mean that He ordains ALL things to happen:
Since I have been saved God has placed a desire in me to know things… like the history of how the Bible became canonized, or figuring out time frames in the Bible. Sometimes it seems so random and I wonder why I have this knowledge but don’t get to really talk to anyone about it. Two weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with a friend which led me to listen to some audio that got my heart pounding and it was all I could do to not scream ‘heresy!‘ at my computer. That led me to write that paper scrolling on the banner on the main page of this blog. Also at that time we started having plumbing issues with the washing machine.
Because of my paper I have gotten some negative feedback, but also some of what I was hoping for: people thinking about what they read. I’ve asked God why He wants me to know these things.. sometimes doing what I shouldn’t and looking back at the time when I was oblivious to His sovereignty… and happy in my oblivion. I find myself depressed, and yesterday I prayed that in the midst of this time God would give me some glimpse of hope that I am doing His will, and to show me why all of this is happening.
At 11am yesterday the plumbing guy came to fix our problem. He saw my tattoo of Jeremiah 33:3 and asked about it, telling me he was going to be getting one, then showed me a picture of his that he drew. Then he explained what he was going to do and turned on the sink faucet and went outside. Then we had to wait. During the waiting we started talking about knowledge… random knowledge. He told me he loved to learn new things and was interested in the why and the science behind it all. I agreed that it was very fascinating and that led to evolution and the creation around us.. and then naturally to God. He said he believes in God but wasn’t sure about the Bible – surely it has been changed up by man over the years – can’t trust it. I asked him if he thought God was all powerful. Yes. Then I said, “If God is all powerful and able to do anything, and if the Bible really is God’s revealed word about Himself.. wouldn’t He be able to keep it pure forever?” Then I explained how the Bible was put together and who decided what was included and why. He had never heard any of that, and a look of interest crossed his face.
We spent the next hour talking about history and why it is important, and he even asked me what I thought the purpose of this whole life was about. I got to share the Gospel. I got to explain the reason behind why I can’t just sit idly by while people flock to what sounds good, when what sounds good isn’t what is true. He thought it was awesome that I wanted to know the reasons behind what I believe and expressed his concern with people who just go with the flow. When the conversation was over he said he had really enjoyed talking to me about religion… because I didn’t force him into anything but told him what I believe and why. Wow.
Now I ask myself the question… why do I doubt? I know that He works all things, and I know that at just the right time He will use whatever He has poured into me for His glory. I just have to keep my eyes fixed on Christ, and keep seeking Him. He will do the rest. I don’t have to force myself on every person I see, because God will bring the right people into my life at just the right time, with just the right message already prepared. I’ve seen it over and over again. I don’t have to tell them that if they don’t act right now they will miss their opportunity for grace. God doesn’t work that way.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. – Romans 5:6-11
Like me, a person could have heard the Gospel 1000 times and never responded… that’s because it wasn’t time yet. When it is time, God will move their hearts. When God moves your heart, it stays that way.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. – John 15:1-8